sean
Joined: 09 Dec 2015
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 Posted: 22 Jan 2016 06:37 Post subject: uggs outlet online store |
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Family bed family feud
When I hear the words "family bed," my visions are less about blissful slumber than about raucous events like the Rock's return to the WWE or one of Lady Gaga's crazy Grammy dance numbers. The few times I have slept the whole night with my daughter (typically when sleeping over at my parent's house) it has been all about pointy elbows, flailing arms, and rabbit kicking feet. It's not that I don't love to snuggle and sleep with my baby (even now that she's all "grown up" at seven years old). There's a time and a place for those special moments all wrapped up together like two critters in a downy nest but, for me at least, that time is not every night.
The UK's Daily Mail post Baby I need my bed back seems to support my preference for relegating my daughter to her own bed. According to a survey of 3,000 families, though forty percent of kids get to uggs on sale burrow under the covers in mom and dad's bed, at least half of the time mom and dad aren't too happy about it. It would seem that having junior in the mix can put a cramp on intimacy. You think?
I have to thank my beloved dog (may he rest in peace, good boy) for saving me from the trauma of the family bed. When he was but a pup, I succumbed to his big amber eyes and charming head tilt and let him into my bed. That was, as the saying goes, the beginning of the end. My dog may not have been Westminster dog show material, but he was no dummy. Once I gave him that inch, the rest of my bed was his. Unfortunately for me, my once darling little puppy soon grew into an enormous, 135 pound dog. Oops didn't see that coming. For years, I "slept" under the weight of my furry baby, enduring paws to the head, affectionate dog breath, and slobbery kisses.
Now, I'm not comparing my daughter to a dog, but, whether you're sharing your bed with a canine "child" or a human one, there are bound to be issues. As the folks quoted in the Daily Mail article attested, having a third party curled up in bed definitely puts a damper on the passion and can even result in one parent (usually dad) looking elsewhere for nighttime accommodations. In extreme cases, feuds over the family bed wind up in divorce court.
I don't think my dog's presence in my bed led to my divorce, but I can say (as one mom admitted to Daily Mail) that there were definitely times I preferred my (furry) child's company to that of my spouse. As a mom, it's tempting (even now that my daughter is seven) to let her crawl in next to me especially since I'm a single mom who usually sleeps alone anyway. I was recently away for a few days and my daughter has been asking me each night if she can sleep in my bed. It's been difficult to say no, but I don't want to start a habit that might be hard to break. My beau stays over a few nights each week, and I don't need to complicate things by initiating a platonic threesome into our routine.
When it comes to the family bed, it's a tough call. There's loads of research to support each side of the argument, and heartstrings and guilt strings to be pulled as well. My only word of advice is: Think it through. Remember that puppies always grow up to be dogs. Once you've extended the invitation into your bed, it's awfully hard to break everyone of the habit.
What do you think? Is the family bed a good idea, or not? Is it an all or nothing proposition, or is there a middle road that leaves room for moderation? What's your experience in transitioning back to separate sleeping quarters?
When our daughter was sick and still not sleeping through the night at 8 months old, we tried cosleeping. It was horrible! At first I kind of enjoyed waking up to a pee diaper in my face every morning but that enjoyment quickly faded. DD was an extremely restless sleeper and was still not sleeping through the night. After a couple of months, my husband abandoned the bed for the living room couch. We switched her back to her crib at 13 months. She still a restless sleeper but she sleeping through the night now and DH is back in OUR bed. To each their own but for us cosleeping was not a very good fit.
Our daughter rarely slept in our bed when she was a baby a few time when we were in a hotel. At home, she was in her bed, happily.
As she gets older, she gets to sleep with us (or one of us will sleep in her bed) on a few occasions during thunderstorms, because they scare her and I want her downstairs with us (her bedroom is upstairs), and when daddy is out of town, which is very rare (again, makes me feel safer to have her near me).
I personally don think bed sharing with a tiny baby is safe unless there is a cosleeper crib attached, but I realize I could never convince cosleeping families this, so I just stay out of it.
In our case, the bed worked until my son was 2 (his birthday was last month). Up until now, he spent the majority of nights in our bed, which was fine ugg classic short sparkles boots black multi with my husband and myself. If we wanted time we would put him in his crib instead and he would (usually) sleep just fine. When he was an infant and nursing very frequently, it was much easier to have him in bed where I could nurse him laying down and get more sleep. Now, he is too big and too restless of a sleeper to stay in our bed. We started the transition to his boy bed a couple weeks ago and he sleeping better every night. I think if it works for your family, go for it, but if someone isn happy and/or is just plain exhausted from disturbed sleep you need to consider that and make changes. I love snuggling with my litle guy, but I got to to the point that I realized none of us was getting a good night sleep. Now we just cuddle more during the day and at night time  .
We tried but failed miserably at keeping the kids out My fault entirely. With my first, I wouldn let him go and now even at 5 he is crawling in at odd hours. My second We emphasized her bed and she stayed there, until she was 3 and got scared of and had fits of night terrors now she also crawls in at odd hours My still nursing 18mo old only sleeps w/us on rare occasions of sickness but always attached to the boob when he does so mommy doesn get much sleep. could you?
It makes a King sized bed feel very small and on more than one occasion we have been kicked out and slept on the glorious couch, or woke up with a diapered butt on your head, feet in your face or snoring in your ear But all in all, not sure I would trade it Cause I know they wont even want to hug me in a few years.
At about 4 months, I discovered how much better my son slept when he was with me. He was waking often in his bassinet and crib and could only be soothed by nursing. One night I put him in our bed and he slept through the night. That became the norm. On the rare occasion where he would wake at night, I could nurse him right there and never get up. I work full time and became grateful for that special bonding time. We transitioned him to his bed a little before the age of 2. It took about a week for him to get used to sleeping in his own room, but eventually he got it and now at 4 1/2 he only comes in our room occasionally at night, and he is always welcomed with open arms. We now have another son who is 4 months and I been trying to get him to sleep in his own crib, but he ends up in our bed every night anyway. He still nursing every 3 hours so this works for us. I remember all the reasons I co slept with my first son and they were all positive, so it going to be the way we do it this time as well. Plus, my now 4 year old is confident, sweet, polite, mild mannered, smart, Cheap UGG Boots On Sale funny, etc. I wouldn take anything back in fear that he would be different! I want to do everything exactly the same for my new baby in hopes that he turns out just like his brother. (I know he be equally amazing in his own way, I just kidding of:))
Ahhh I Put our infant son into his own crib at 2 months old, worked like a charm, until he got an uprade to his transition bed when he was 18 19 months old, this is when he got sneaky See I have a king size bed and I only use about 10 percent of it, I tiny and I sleep on the edge of the bed, so my little man would crawl up at the foot of the bed and very comfortably sleep between hubby and I without ever waking us morning we thought it funny to wake up and hey its a tiny skinny arm flung over my neck and not a muscular one cutting off precious circulation At first hubby was annoyed, WITH REASON and now our little man is 3 and Im annoyed, but hubby ugg bailey button boots 5803 black thinks its fantastic to wake up to his little mini me curled up in the small of his back. We both agree that its not so bad because one day this will end BUT!! Im 6 months pregnant What will our king size bed look like after I give birth!! Im scared for my infant, as she won be able to avoid the numerous leg flinging thru the night. so I will absoultly have to breast feed sitting up to make sure to put her back in the crib instead of sleeping next to her I already feel major guilt about my little man now being second for a tiny bit I dont want to change the routine so close to a new arrival Ahhh so I envy parents who stuck by their guns and repeated brought child back to bed, and I totally relate to parents who did just like me I guess we just have to roll with the punches RIGHT??!!
So interesting to me how many kids get up and sneak into their parents room. My daughter hasn done that more than a half dozen times. Usually, she just lays in her bed and hollers for me giving me ample time to get to her before she gets to me, and an easy way to keep her in her bed. Like you guys, I tend to stay in her room with her until she falls asleep unfortunately, I often end up drifting off as well, and then waking up with a serious crick in my neck. Ouch. I guess there no perfect solution and eventually they all grow out of everything anyway, right?
"slept" under the weight of my furry baby, enduring paws to the head, affectionate dog breath, and slobbery kisses. I mostly love it though. There the constant reminder that physically expressing your love does not always mean sex. Yes, it a point of contention with me and the husband and we slept separately for several months. I should mention that I cosleep because of my child health problems, and coming back to bed with the two of us has given him a better perspective on what is going on and how difficult it is for everyone. If we ever get his reflux straightened out, we will be moving him to his own bed. I think I be ready this time.
Our DS is now 17mths old, he has slept in our bed maybe 3 times, once when he was newborn because I was too tired and sore to get up and put him back in his cot the one night when he was being fussy, the other 2 times were when he had an ear infection. He was however in his cot in our room until the end of January when I finally decided I was brave enough to move him to his own room after when had been house sitting for some family and it was easier to put him in a different room to us at their house, wish I had done it sooner although missed having him near by at first. I could personally never co sleep, I a light sleeper and struggle to get comfortable at the best of times nevermind if we had a wriggly boney worm in the bed with us!
We coslept with DS when he was nursing multiple times a night, I say the first two months. It was so much easier than getting up, going to the nursery, nursing him, putting him back in the nursery. Just roll over, give him a boob, and you both go back to sleep! Perfection. We started transitioning him into his crib when he only woke twice to eat; after the second feeding he would stay in our bed or go back to the nursery, depending on how tired I was. He slept through the night in his crib at three months, so I say it worked well! Now he won sleep in our bed at all. I guess we don have to worry about him sneaking in! If he wakes up at night because he sick, he holler from the crib until I go in and comfort him, and then go back to sleep.
I loved co sleeping with my son when he was smaller. I convinced it helped him to sleep through the night (12 hours by 4 months!) and it was so lovely going to sleep with him lying peacefully beside him. So many kisses and snuggles and head sniffing.
I would have been happy to sleep with him a lot longer, but my husband was always asking did you say he be in his cot? so we made the transition to him sleeping in his cot in his nursery when he was 7 months old. For the first couple of nights he kept waking up needing a cuddle or a pacifier and I almost brought him back into bed with us, but then he settled in and has continued sleeping 12 hours a night.
I have to confess, I do sleep better now that I can move as I wish in the bed!
I think that we are the only ones out there who have just embraced the family bed concept. In fact we have 2 family beds. One is for the 5yo and her dad and one is for the baby and me. We didn figure it was worth the fight to lay the kids somewhere else. If we want intimacy we use the guest bedroom because honestly at night I usually fall dead asleep. With the first one we did try the crib, with the second one we didn even bother. I loved having her near me. Sometimes if I dont feel like sharing the bed I would go into the guest bedroom and let the kids find me at some point at night, but mostly I just lay down and sleep with the baby. I think what helps me is that I am a to the world sleeper. Before we had kids I would sometimes fall asleep in the short time it took my husband to get back into bed after turning off the lights. The only time this arrangement is a pain is when somebody is sick and coughing, but this is where the guest bedroom comes in, and anyways any sleeping is a problem when somebody is sick. The other thing is that we have a queen and a king sized bed. The queen is for the 5yo and the king is for the baby and me. When my kids were small they would rotate too much to share a queen with them. Now they are uggs on sale for women in clearance fox fur bigger and it is not a problem so much. Granted, sometimes my husband says can find me on my 2 feet of bed real estate with a foot up my butt or thing I am not fat, because the amount of bed space accorded to me is 10% but generally I think this works for us. In the future I am looking forward to the kids getting bigger and sharing a room and a bunk bed, but for now they are too small and too needy. I am sure I will end up missing snuggling up to them at night, the holding of hands, all the good night kisses and hugs, the me the best part of your day and the one more story about when you were little But by then I will be ready to share a bed with my husband.
I get tired of articles about family beds turning into a back patting session for all those parents who stuck their babies in a crib. I realize that was not your post intent, but you can scan the comments to see all the back patting going on I will say I for one am glad that our family has sleep shared. I didn plan on it with my son, but it just felt so wrong to put him away in a crib all by himself after we had been so close for so many months. I couldn really blame him for crying when mommy was crying too. Why would we put ourselves through that? To meet someone convention of Me, the momma with a blue mohawk and tattoos? Who cares about normal as long as we are safe! So I did a lot of research (thank you internet!) and talked it over with my husband (he amazing!) and we decided that the family bed was for us when my son was about 6 days old.
Now he 4, and has a 2 yr old little sister (yep, we found a way to still be intimate; maybe people should realize intimacy does not have to be relegated to the bed or after dark?). My son slept beautifully with us until he was about 2.5 3. I regularly sleep in until at least 10am if not 11 (I don know why people never believe me). We don have bedtime battles, either mommy or daddy (usually mommy) goes and lays down with the kids, after story time its lights out and they are almost always asleep within 15 minutes. As my son got older he was getting too big for mom and dad bed, so he transitioned to a toddler bed over on mom side of the bed (his bedroom is downstairs and we not comfortable with him sleeping that far away yet). His sister is already wanting to sleep in bubby bed, but bubby doesn want her to, lol. Kinda ironic he possessive of his bed when he loves to snuggle with sissy in mom bed.
My kids are very close. People comment on how sweet they are to us as mom and dad and to each other, very lovey dovey. They will sit and a book together and hold hands, so cute! They are really self confident and self reliant too. I really attribute these qualities to sleep sharing.
Is it hard work to get them to transition to a bed of their own? Yes, but no worse than potty training, and way, way less stressful than any CIO method as far as I concerned. Besides my little man had a sticker chart and was proud of HIS accomplishment as opposed to be trained like a dog.
Not to mention it seems that the families they talked to crib trained their kids and now have problems keeping them out of mom and dad bed versus families that consciously made a decision to sleep share, waited until their child was ready to transition to their own bed, and now have said child successfully sleeping on their own (or not as the case may be). The one family that decided to sleep share that moved into a 2 bedroom place with an au pair sound kinda off to begin with, so please don judge family bed by their experience. In fact the sourced article came across as incredibly biased and determined to paint sleep sharing in an ugly light. SO that why I had to speak up and say that some people can do it right and love the experience of sharing sleep. |
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